Quotes from Melissa McCarthy

The average size of a woman is 14.

I'm certainly not shy, but I like playing it because I love those characters that are incredibly confident but really still a mess.

Jason Statham is funny, I never knew that.

I didn't wear jeans for, like, a decade of my life.

I think there's so many points of view that you want to make sure your stories are being told from men and women... you get all of the different backgrounds. You don't want every story being told from the same point of view. So just for better storytelling, I'm like, 'Yes, please, bring some more ladies on.'

When I went to college, I did clothing and textiles. It really wasn't until I moved to New York, my second night in, I did stand-up. I took a wild left turn, and instead of going back and finishing school at FIT, I started doing stand-up and acting.

I didn't really know how to write jokes, so I just told weird, long stories about being tall and beautiful and wealthy in New York. I'd tell them very seriously, but I kind of looked like a drag queen at the time with big wigs and crazy 12-inch platform heels.

I did nothing but dramas for seven years in New York. I didn't really start anything comedic until I moved out to L.A. and found The Groundlings.

I believe it matters how you treat people. I believe in Heaven. I don't believe that this is it, and then we're done. I have a lovely relationship with God, although when I've lost someone or I've seen a sick child, I've had conversations with Him in which I've had to ask, 'How can that be right?'

I've never felt like I needed to change. I've always thought, 'If you want somebody different, pick somebody else.'

I'm like a three-and-a-half, four-hour-a-night sleeper. It's not enough to function.

I wore white kabuki makeup, had blue-black hair. At one point, I shaved an inch and a half around my hairline and continued the white makeup up so it made my head look slightly deformed. I thought it was hilarious.

Famous doesn't mean anything. Just because people know my face doesn't mean they know us or that it makes us any more interesting or better.

Strangers shouldn't be allowed to take a picture of your child and sell it for profit.

Once you start writing a character visually, you're in trouble.

It's funny; as I get older I'm reverting to my roots - I want to plant stuff.

In my 20s I used to cry about why I wasn't thinner or prettier, but I want to add that I also used to cry about things like: 'I wish my hair would grow faster. I wish I had different shoes …

I'm very boring. But I'm a bit obsessed with women that are so incredibly solid in their shoes that they don't care what other people think of them. I just think there's something so interesting about that kind of confidence.

I love a woman who's solid in her shoes.

Nothing's more charming than someone who doesn't take herself too seriously.

I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he'll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up.

I've been every size in the world. Parts of my twenties, I was in great shape, but I didn't appreciate it. 'If I was a 6 or an 8,' I thought, 'Why aren't I a 2 or a 4?'

I am not a princess, I don't want to be referred to as a princess - I find that super creepy.

I've always had mostly gay male friends.