Quotes from George Gobel

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Did you ever feel as if the whole world was a tuxedo, and you were a pair of brown shoes?

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

I have never been drunk, but I've often been overserved.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

It seems like I'm always an hour late or a dollar short. I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life, and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

No living thing is indestructible, except the mosquito that you try to swat in your bedroom at 3 o'clock in the morning.

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.