Quotes from Jim Jefferies

I wouldn't perform in front of the Nazis. I hear they didn't take freedom of speech too well. It would be a fun gig to rip into them, but I don't think the ending would be great for me.

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then I got home...

Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.