Quotes from Loni Love

I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation.

I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting.

In 'Mother's Day,' which is directed by legendary director Garry Marshall, I play a mother figure to the character played by Jason Sudeikis from 'Saturday Night Live.' He's a widower, and I'm a mother who's helping him to get over the loss of his wife.

When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees.

I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding.

There is nothing like a live performance. You can look at things on television, and you can look at things on YouTube, but when you get in a room full of people and you say one joke, and everyone's laughing at the same thing, it's a really great experience.

I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home.

What we're trying to do is take these words and soften them. I'm an African-American comic. I use the b-word in my act.

I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love.

You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie!

Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street!

Miss Britney Spears took a dude that was already with a girl that had babies. And sometimes when you do that kind of stuff and take a dude, that's called karma.

I started by doing a little funny story, and then I started going to open mics. I realized I had a lot of work to do - you have to get over the stage fright and get your stage presence up. It took me some time, but I finally feel that I'm at a point where I feel comfortable on stage and giving my point of view.

I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic.

I did all this standup comedy in college, and from that point on, I tried to develop myself and get my name back out there.

With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about.

Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation.

One of my dreams was to change the way women of color were seen on television.

I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not.

I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah.

They're smart in Orange County. Smart and rich - just how I like 'em.

I've been studying myself because I always want to improve.

Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one scheduling and emceeing. If you work on your gift, and you're good, it will shine through.

Anyone driving a 1992 Cutlass, take it back, because I built it.