Quotes from Gallagher

Detroit is drunken idiots. It was no surprise to me. I performed with Kenny Rogers for one year as his opening act, and I got to visit every major American city and notice the audience, and Detroit was one of the worst.

I was the first one to allow a projectile to come off of the stage and into the audience. And I kind of take responsibility for the mosh pit.

I don't want to overthrow the government. I wanna fire 'em.

I don't say that I'm going to be like every other comic that's blue, or gratuitous use of language. I do try to have my own standards: I don't do everything the audience wants, and I do try to surprise them.

I need wrong to get laughs. I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal, and that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice.

Parents are trying to be friends with their kids rather than draw the line and tell them what proper public behavior would be.

People don't know how to behave in public anymore.

I know that I am an excellent live performer. I know that I have spent my life paying attention to my art form, developing my art form, worrying about my show and what it is I'm bringing to people, making sure that I give them a fine trade. They get a two-hour show, sometimes a three-hour show, for a decent price.

I have spent my life paying attention to my art form, developing my art form, worrying about my show and what I'm bringing to people, making sure that I give them a fine trade.

We have a baby now at my house, all day long. And all night long. I wonder why they say you have a baby? The baby has you.

If con is the opposite of pro, and progress is good, what is Congress?

You always get drugs when you go and see the doctor with the baby. The drugs are for me and Mama.

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.

I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you.