Quotes from James Patterson

If number two pencils are so popular, why are they still number two?

Mostly I just suck up what life throws my way, stomp on it, and then keep going. I don't dwell much on what I am or how I got this way. It just is. I just am. I'm Max, and whatever form I take, it's good enough for me.

call me hopelessly paranoid, but this whole place was starting to seem creepily idyllic. Like, my bedroom was charming. Charming! What did I know about charming? I'd never called anything charming before in my life.

Our goal is to find the Institute." "How are we gonna do that?" Angel asked. "I have a plan," I said firmly. God, I was really going to have to get all this lying under control.

Anne is quite the animal lover," Fang said to me as we followed Angel. "Horses, sheep, goats. Chickens. Pigs." "Yeah," I said. "I wonder who's for dinner?

learn to think smart, stay one step ahead of the game instead of having the game bite us in the ass." Or

Fang snapped out his huge wings and shone the penlight under his chin so it raked his cheekbones and eyes. My mouth dropped open: He looked like the angel of death.

Big Sale. Last Week.' Last week? Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

The truth will set you free, its the little white lies that'll save your ass.

También me parece sospechoso su estúpido comportamiento. No hacen más que reírse disimuladamente y darse palmadas en la espalda, diciendo cosas como tremendo y lo máximo, el tipo de expresiones que usaría un psicólogo de colegio para simular que nos entiende.

Why did Piglet, Eeyore, and Christopher Robin stick their heads down the toilet? Easy. They were looking for Pooh.

A half-dozen or so FBI techies and LAPD homicide detectives were still on the scene. The latest Pearl Jam played from somebody's radio. The lead singer seemed to be in terrible pain.

I made a pleasant discovery. You work hard at something eight hours a day, you get better. Not a lot better necessarily, but a little better, and that's just fine, because improving at golf, or anything else probably, is just a matter of making an endless series of tiny improvements.

These are the cafeteria ladies. I call them Millie, Billie, and Tilly. I think they're part of a government program to get rid of the middle school population in this country, one lunch at a time.

The Chinese had a saying that had been in her mind for a while, troubling her: Society prepares the crime; the criminal only commits it.

it's really great to be back in front of an audience again.

However, I had been hoping that Donald Trump would just drop me off in one of his helicopters.

A little while back, I won a couple of contests and was crowned the Funniest Kid Comic in all of New York. Not just New York City, but the whole state!

third or fourth.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Now I have a shot at being the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic. "The planet Earth?" asks Phineas of—you guessed it—Phineas and Ferb. "Or Mars? We built a portal to Mars for the science fair once.

Terrible. This morning, when I put on my underwear, I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

If we are to help save the human race, we must first recognize the humanity in all, no matter their station in life.

Even the smallest among us have the potential to add a gigantic amount of energy to this world. And if you don't believe that, first thing tomorrow morning, just look in the mirror.