Quotes from Alexei Sayle

I feel sorry for many politicians... we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.

First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

Most of the Communists I knew were nice people.

People aren't universally heroic.

If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.

The journalists have obviously failed to capture my innate magnetism, humour and charisma, and they all need to be fired from their newspapers right away.

Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.

My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?

It seems easier to make a career out of comedy now than it was in the 1980s.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.