Quotes from Daniel Pinkwater

I imagine a child. That child is me. I can reconstruct and vividly remember portions of my own childhood. I can see, taste, smell, feel, and hear them. Then what I do is, not write about that kid or about his world, but start to think of a book that would have pleased him.

I went to college, but I learned to write by reading and writing.

Trust me, there is no formula for most things that are not math.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Eat pudding. Books are good. Eat pudding. If kids read a lot. Eat pudding. They'll get so they can think clearly. Eat pudding. And if enough kids read and think. Eat pudding. We will have world peace. Eat pudding. Thank you very much. Eat pudding.

The activities of these parasites and degenerates gave rise to Cubism, Fauvism, Futurism, Pointillism, Constructivism, Orphism, Surrealism, Dada, and also Impossibleism, Supersurrealism, Dynamic Double-Dog Realism, Ishkabibbleism, and Mama, which is like Dada only nicer.

Ignorance is nothing to be ashamed of—until you find out you've got it. Once you realize you're ignorant, if you don't do something about it, then you have the right to feel ashamed.

The difference between that man and me," Alan Mendelsohn said, "is that I am a connoisseur, and he is a fanatic.

the standard Chicago hot dog comes with everything you need to sustain life . . . until the bright green pickle relish catches up with you and you die.

I mean-- no offense, Leonard, but you really don't like to climb ropes, and get into the Marine Corps, and kill your countriy's enemies, do you?" I said that it wasn't one of the big goals of my life. "Well, maybe you'd like me to get you into this corrective gym class, where you can study toe dancing, and grow up to be a little Commie, sissy boy," Mr. Jerris said. I told him I would like that just fine…

Of course, an unchanged mind is a little like unchanged underwear. It tends to get unattractive even to the person whose mind or underwear it is.

It doesn't matter who you are, or what you've done, or think you can do. There's a confrontation with destiny awaiting you. Somewhere, there is a chile you cannot eat.

I changed his name after I saw this old movie at the Snark. It's called Nosferatu, and it's the original Dracula story. It's ten times as scary as the version you see on television. The guy who plays the vampire is really bizarre.

I have to remind myself that I've always known this: Evolution is not for everybody.

I believe it is impossible to make sense of life in this world except through art.

It's rough being without a librarian for a whole month, isn't it?" Starr Lackawanna said. "Yes!" we all said.

The thing about Laurel and Hardy movies that you can't get from the chopped-up versions on television is how beautiful they are. Things happen exactly at the moment they have to happen. They don't happen a second too soon or too late. You can even predict what's going to happen—and it does happen—and it surprises you anyway. It doesn't surprise you because it happened, but because it happened so perfectly.

My house is me and I am it and it looks like all my dreams". - the Big Orange Splot

By the end of the third day, I hated it. I hated it with all my heart. Nothing was going to change. The only thing I was learning was that boredom can hurt like physical pain, like wearing an iron hat, like sandpaper clothes, like being crushed under a big stone.

I ask the reader- is there any reason to believe that these idiots will fail to blow up the world? The answer is: Only by accident will the present power elite, in this country and others, fail to blow up the world.

He was explaining how capitalism is bad--and I could see he had a point, but at the same time, I got the feeling that socialism or communism, or whatever he's selling, is probably just as bad, and the problem is human beings can ruin anything, even if it's a good idea to begin with.

He left out that he did not simply go to war--he had to be dragged kicking and screaming. He said that it was not that he was afraid--just that seeming to agree with such a thing would suggest one hadn't given it any thought.

I've said this before, and I say it again. Bagels can be an enormous power for good or for evil. It is up to us to decide how we will use them.

Werewolves are much more common animals than you might think.

I believe it is impossible to make sense of life in this world except through art.