Quotes from Tom Waits

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering. It cheapens and degrades the human experience, when it should inspire and elevate.

There ain't no such thing as the devil that's just god when he's drunk.

If you're in the middle of the ocean with no flippers and no life preserver and you hear a helicopter, this is music.

I put food on the table and roof overhead. But I'd trade it all tomorrow for the highway instead.

Simple is best. Don't you think? [ I think - Why? Because of cluttered up things you might be running into? ] ...That eventually you'll be getting rid of eventually, hahaha. Start simple.

Simple is best. Don't you think? [ I think - Why? Because of cluttered up things you might be running into? ] ...That eventually you'll be getting rid of anyway, hahaha. Start simple.

Song-forms are just like jello molds, ya know? I like goofing around. [ Pour some flavor in there? ] Yeah; and wait for it to sit.

I got the style but not the grace I got the clothes but not the face I got the bread but not the butter I got the winda but not the shutter But I'm big in Japan, I'm big in Japan

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

Now when I was a boy My daddy sat me on his knee And he told me He told me many things And he said sone There's a lot of things in this world You're gonna have no use for And when you get blue And you've lost all your dreams There's nothin' like a campfire And a can of beans

Now when I was a boy My daddy sat me on his knee And he told me He told me many things He said son There's a lot of things in this world You're gonna have no use for And when you get blue And you've lost all your dreams There's nothin' like a campfire And a can of beans

a foreign affair juxtaposed with a stateside and domestically approved romantic fancy is mysteriously attractive due to circumstances knowing it will only be parlayed into a memory

don't you know there ain't No devil, there's just god when he's drunk...

It's hard to play with a bagpipe player. It's like an exotic bird. I love the sound, it's like strangling a goose.

I like Thelonious Monk, he's so gnarled, he's like a piece of machinery that's pulled up the bolts on the floor and gone off on its own.

George Burns was a Vaudeville performer I particularly loved.

I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.

It wasn't good for my nerves, that kind of work - a fireman. I've got high blood pressure. I get upset easily. I don't think that was a proper career alternative for me.

Folks who work here are professors. Don't replace all the knowers with guessors keep'em open they're the ears of the town

If you record the sound of bacon in a frying pan and play it back, it sounds like the pops and cracks on an old 33 1/3 recording. Almost exactly like that. You could substitute it for that sound.

There's a beauty of show business. It's the only business you can have a career in when you're dead.

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys, and my pride.

Well, they'll bark you down like carneys, sell you Christmas cards in June.