Quotes from Roxane Gay

What is it like to be connected to someone you can never get away from, for better or worse? I love trying to answer that question.

I love writing fiction because I can totally lose myself and I get to make up the rules of the world that I'm writing.

Love your friends' kids, even if you don't want or like children. Just do it.

I reject the idea that when young women make choices with which we disagree, they are acting without autonomy.

The first amendment makes it clear that we are free to practice religion without government interference. The Constitution also establishes the separation of church and state so that the laws we live by our never guided by religious zeal.

Maybe true love isn't out there for me, but I can sublimate my loneliness with the notion that true love is out there for someone.

I am 39. I am single. I am a black woman. I have too many advanced degrees. Many a news story tells me finding true love is likely a hopeless proposition. Now is the time when I need to believe in fairy tales.

Something outrageous, in the truest sense of the word, is always happening. On social networks, we're always voicing our reactions to these outrageous events. We read essays and 'think pieces' about these outrageous events. We comment on the commentary. We do this because we can.

Most of the serious disagreement I get comes through email or social media, where people are more comfortable.

After the Boston Marathon bombings, people shared grief and outrage on social media.

I am failing as a woman. I am failing as a feminist. To freely accept the feminist label would not be fair to good feminists. If I am, indeed, a feminist, I am a rather bad one. I am a mess of contradictions.

It's so hard to write about countries like Haiti because there's truths behind the misperceptions people have. But there's so much more. There are multiple truths.

Demands for solidarity can quickly turn into demands for groupthink, making it difficult to express nuance.

The past is always with you. Some people want to be protected from this truth.

That's what is always fascinating about racism - how it is allowed, if not encouraged, to flourish freely in public spaces, the way racism and bigotry are so often unquestioned.

Feminism is just an idea. It's a philosophy. It's about the equality of women in all realms. It's not about man-hating. It's not about being humorless. We have to let go of these misconceptions that have plagued feminism for 40, 50 years.

Day after day with them, I see more and more of my parents in me. I see where all my quirks come from. I see my future.

Florida is a strange place: hot, beautiful, ugly. I love it here, and how nothing makes sense but still, somehow, there is a rhythm.

Most open letters undoubtedly come from a good place, rising out of genuine outrage or concern or care. There is, admittedly, also a smugness to most open letters: a sense that we, as the writers of such letters, know better than those to whom the letters are addressed. We will impart our opinions to you, with or without your consent.

I believe in the freedom of expression, unequivocally - though, as I have written before, I wish more people would understand that freedom of expression is not freedom from consequence.

If I am ever in the spotlight, I want to look good.

I believe feminism is grounded in supporting the choices of women even if we wouldn't make certain choices for ourselves.

I write for myself, first and foremost and I also write for people, mostly women, who just want to be seen and heard and all too often aren't.

Violence is a common part of far too many women's lives.