Quotes from Jonathan Swift

Fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.

Every man desires to live long, but no man would be old.

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.

When a great genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand.

When men grow virtuous in their old age, they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings.

We have just religion enough to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.

I hate nobody: I am in charity with all the world.

Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent.

Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly.

I love good creditable acquaintance; I love to be the worst of the company.

We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.

She has more goodness in her little finger, than he has in his whole body.

A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart.

Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her purposes.

Behold his funeral appears,Nor widow's sighs, nor orphan's tears,Wont at such times each heart to pierce,Attend the progress of his hearse.And what of that? his friends may say,He had those honors in his day.True to his profit and his pride,He made them weep before he died.

He was a bold man that first eat an oyster.

So, naturalists observe, a fleaHath smaller fleas that on him prey;And these have smaller still to bite 'em;And so proceed ad infinitum.Thus every poet, in his kind,Is bit by him that comes behind.

Yet malice never was his aim;He lash'd the vice but spar'd the name.No individual could resent,Where thousands equally were meant.His satire points at no defectBut what all mortals may correct;For he abhorr'd that senseless tribeWho call it humor when they gibe.

That's as well said, as if I had said it myself.

Words are but wind and learning is nothing but words ergo, learning is nothing but wind.

I won't quarrel with my bread and butter.