Quotes from Jonathan Swift

And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.

Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.

Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.

For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.

There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake.

Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine.

That was excellently observed', say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.

We of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method to become scholars and wits, without the fatigue of reading or of thinking.

If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is, he keeps his at the same time.

The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.

No preacher is listened to but time, which gives us the same train and turn of thought that elder people have in vain tried to put into our heads before.

Once kick the world, and the world and you will live together at a reasonably good understanding.

As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold.

I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution.

What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; what they do not do we are told expressly.

I used to wonder how a man of birth and spirit could endure to be wholly insignificant and obscure in a foreign country, when he might live with lustre in his own.

Usually speaking the worst-bred person in company is a young traveller just returned from abroad.

I shall be like that tree-I shall die at the top.

Nor do they trust their tongue alone, but speak a language of their own; can read a nod, a shrug, a look, far better than a printed book; convey a libel in a frown, and wink a reputation down.

Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale hath had its effect.

Tell truth, and shame the devil.

I have ever hated all nations, professions, and communities, and all my love is toward individuals.

Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it.

It is an uncontrolled truth, that no man ever made an ill figure who understood his own talents, nor a good one who mistook them.