Quotes from Jonathan Swift

Whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.

And when I began to consider that, by copulating with one of the Yahoo species I had become a parent of more, it struck me with the utmost shame, confusion, and horror.

for as health is but one thing, and has been always the same, whereas diseases are by thousands, besides new and daily additions, so all the virtues that have been ever in mankind are to be counted upon a few fingers, but his follies and vices are innumerable, and time adds hourly to the heap. 

No digo esto con la más pequeña intención de disminuir las muchas virtudes de aquel excelente rey, cuyos méritos, sin embargo, temo que habrán de quedar muy mermados a los ojos del lector inglés con este motivo; pero juzgo que este defecto tiene por origen la ignorancia de aquel pueblo, que todavía no ha reducido la política a una ciencia

Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest persons uneasy is the best bred in the company.

The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on the mother's side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the concourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in good esteem among his neighbours.

they have been troubled with the same disease to which the whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending for power, the people for liberty, and the King for absolute dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the laws of that Kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of the three parties

whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of making these children sound and useful members of the common-wealth, would deserve so well of the public, as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

descubrí cómo escritores prostituidos han extraviado al mundo hasta hacerle atribuir las mayores hazañas de la guerra a los cobardes, los más sabios consejos a los necios, sinceridad a los aduladores, virtud romana a los traidores a su país, piedad a los ateos, veracidad a los espías;

asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go to war with another?"  I answered "they were innumerable; but I should only mention a few of the chief.  Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think they have land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of ministers, who engage their master in a war, in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil administration. 

If a lie be believed only for an hour, it hath done its work.

a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout. I

Ojalá vivas todos los días de tu vida!

The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health, as well as brevity.

For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honorable of all others, because a soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can.

Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites, to bring children into the world, and leave the burthen of supporting them on the public. As

Tis an old maxim in the schools that flattery is the food of fools. Yet now and then your men of wit will condescend to take a bit.

But though a Church of England man thinks every species of government equally lawful, he does not think them equally expedient; or for every country indifferently. There

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their education is of little consequence to the public: but

I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased human understanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has judgment enough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in the pack, without being ever mistaken.

Añadió que nuestra institución de gobierno y de ley obedecía, sencillamente, a los grandes defectos de nuestra razón y, por consiguiente, de nuestra virtud, ya que la razón por sí sola es suficiente para dirigir un ser racional.

He put this engine [a silver pocket watch] into our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life.

How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible accidents to which they owed their success

The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood. The author's discourse disapproved by his master. The author gives a more particular account of himself, and the accidents of his voyage. M