Quotes from Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

He never pays attention, he always knows the answer, and he can never tell you how he knows. We can't keep thrashing him. He is a bad example to the other pupils. There's no educating a smart boy.

Wanna see how creepy I can be?"-Mr Teatime

Sometimes words need music too. Sometimes the descriptions are not enough. Books should be written with soundtracks, like films.

Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended.

Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal.... The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it.

There's one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises.

Witches aren't like that. We live in harmony with the great cycles of Nature, and do no harm to anyone, and it's wicked of them to say we don't. We ought to fill their bones with hot lead.

People whose concept of ancient history is the first series of Star Trek may be treated with patience, because it's usually not their fault they were reduced to getting their education from school.

Demons were like genies or philosophy professors - if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.

I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the elderly ill seems to have no philosophy to it. As a society, we should establish whether we have a policy of life at any cost.

No one's policing their own minds more than an author. You spend a lot of time in your own head analysing what you think about things, and a philosophy comes.

They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.

Well, it would have to be "The Man Who Was Thursday." It's a damn good read that I believe should be read by everyone in politics.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

If there's one thing that really annoys a god, it's not knowing something.

It's a god-eat-god world.

Why not? If enough people believe, you can be god of anything.

Fate can be one mean god at times.

"God does not play games with His loyal servants," said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. "Whooo-eee," said Crowley. "Where have you been?"

Stand before your god, bow before your king, kneel before your man.

Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.