Quotes from Josh Widdicombe

I would never ever want to be an actor playing anyone other than myself. I can't do voices or anything. No, it's not for me. There are lots of people who are trained actors and I feel it's offensive for me to do it.

I've learnt that from stand-up - you should always worry that it's going to go badly, otherwise you're too laissez faire.

I enjoy laughing at other people being funny.

I was once doing a gig with Tim Vine; he was backstage, and there was one of those long strings of polystyrene coffee cups. He picked up the whole stack of about 20, walked on stage and then said: 'Bloody hell this coffee's hot!' which I think is the funniest thing anyone has ever said.

I'm one of life's pessimists. I'm ready for everything to go wrong at any moment.

The way people do an impression of me is they use the phrase, 'Who are these people who do this... ?' Then they do some not-quite-good-enough observational humour, which is the most offensive thing.

I don't buy into the phrase 'comedy genius.' It's like football; you can have the talent, but 90 per cent is hard work, the other ten per cent is trying to make it all look as natural as possible.

I wasn't into making classmates laugh - or any of the comedy cliches. I wanted to disappear. I was a nonentity. I wasn't too clever but I wasn't in the bottom group. I wasn't loud but I wasn't quiet. I wasn't a bully and I wasn't bullied.

I shrunk my favourite jeans in my first week of university. I'd never done a wash before.

As students, we completely failed with the washing up. You'd constantly have to eat out of the wrong receptacle. You'd end up with a cup of cornflakes or a plate of tea.

I don't get starstruck by Hollywood celebrities as I'm not into films.

I'd hope that when Channel 4 started, 'The Last Leg' was the kind of show it wanted to be putting out. I think they're really proud of it.

I don't get hangovers - it's some kind of superhuman ability.

Always thinking that you're not very good is far better than being cocky.

I have never bought into this view that some people have that the job of the comedian is to espouse opinions and change the world - I think the job of a comedian is to be funny.

I think the moment you're convinced something's going to be good is the moment that it's not going to be.

The weird thing is I have now met quite a lot of people who are really famous but they are always disappointingly normal and nice. Alan Carr is very nice indeed. Exactly how you would expect him to be, and not that different from how he is on stage.

I've got no pretence that I want to do 'Hamlet' or anything, I know my limitations.

I love my wife and daughters, but there are times you want to put them in the bin.

Stand-up wasn't a calling. It was more like, 'What can I do that isn't going to make me really depressed?'

The owner of one club once interrupted my set to inform me that my taxi had arrived. I don't think he meant it to sound as cutting as it did.

I see myself primarily as a comedian, and my aim on the 'Last Leg' is to be as funny as I can about the news.

I think to keep yourself fresh, you need to try different things.

When I was a kid I didn't watch TV that was targeted specifically at me. I watched 'The Day Today,' 'Shooting Stars,' 'Father Ted.'