Quotes from Rob Riggle

When you go out there to do comedy, you feel like you're doing battle with the audience a lot of the time. You're either going to get 'em, or you're not.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but if you're not constantly craving breakfast every second of every day, you're not a real American. Y'know what, let's throw the Canadians in there, too.

In the Marine Corps, I was used to people doing what they said and saying what they mean. There was a higher purpose and calling in the Corps. Everyone works toward accomplishing something together, and there's a common goal. In entertainment, the same isn't always true. You're in it for yourself in Hollywood.

I went through puberty late. I was a little, little, tiny kid. I was still growing in college.

I think audiences can relate to the guys I'm playing, those large-and-in-charge idiots. Or maybe I just make them feel better about who they are, or who they're dating.

You get to really master the emotion of humility as a Chiefs fan.

My advice is for veterans to seek out mentors, people who are doing what you want to do. You have to decide what you want and have a goal. Don't worry about how you're going to do it. Just trust that you'll get there.

I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and I wasn't the biggest, so I got real good at running my mouth and making people laugh and using humor as a way to not get into fights.

Honestly, you could beat me, torture me - just don't bore me.

I'm an improviser. I came up doing improv at the U.C.B. Theater in New York for seven years. That's where I started, so improv is what I love.

I would love to do something dramatic. I don't know if anybody will ever give me the chance, but I would love to try it. I'm trained in acting and spent many years working on it, so it's just a matter of opportunity.

I took classes and performed and did improv and sketch and wrote sketches and did lights and sound for other people's shows just so I could be around the theater. That was about seven nights a week for seven years.

I lived in New York for 10 years; I followed the Rangers. Now I live in L.A. I want to adopt a team. I'm always going to be a Kansas City Chiefs and Royals fan. I want to adopt a team in a new town, so I've adopted the Kings.

People who drive slow in the left lane on the highway! Are you kidding me? Don't you see everybody passing you, honking and flipping you off? It's not because everyone else is crazy, it's because you're driving slow in the fast lane, you jerk! OMG! It makes me crazy!

A lot of people think, 'Oh, you made 'SNL.' You're set. You're good.' No. All there is gigs, and you go from one gig to another. And hopefully you get a good gig, and it lasts for a while, and you get good work and people remember it, and you have good memories of it.

I'm a Kansas City kid, so I love my Royals and Chiefs. I went to the University of Kansas, so I love the Jayhawks. But I live in L.A., so I'm a fan of the Dodgers.

I have performed for the troops... in Iraq! They loved it! I loved it... It's all good!

It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. Who doesn't want to get to act like a jerk or a douche, every now and then?

We can't ask the men and women of this country to go do things for us and then, when they get home, forget about them. It's not part of the deal.

When the folks at Holiday Inn Express handed me a pancake with my very own face on it, I knew I had finally made it. Then, I grabbed a knife and fork, and tucked into my face. And I'm happy to report: I'm delicious.

I remember watching Eddie Murphy's stand-up act when I was little, and just being mesmerized.

I just love the Corps. I love the brotherhood, the camaraderie. I thank anyone in uniform who serves their fellow man. I love this country for so many reasons. We have such a great country here, and it's worth defending, and it's worth sacrificing for.

When you're leading Marines, you don't screw around, so the comedy is limited in uniform. And when you're a comedian, you can't be heavy handed and come across with tales of gore or material that people won't understand, so I try to keep them separate.

Hopefully, I'm not stealing scenes from other actors, because then they won't want to work with me.