Quotes from Daniel Clowes

Everybody just lets the media do their thinking for them... that's why you'll never hear any reggae on the radio!

Face it, you hate every single boy on the face of the Earth!" "That's not TRUE, I just hate all these obnoxious, extroverted, pseudo-bohemian art-school losers

God, it drives me crazy when I know exactly what I want and I can't find it anywhere! It's like does anybody want my money!? I mean what the fuck!?

Maybe I'm just sick of putting more into this friendship than I get out of it.

Dear Josh, we stopped by to fuck you but you didn't answer the door. Therefore you are gay. Sincerely, Tiffany and Amber.

This is the Mona Lisa of bad diners.

So what have you guys been up to?" "Nothing, worshipping Satan.

You're the type of guy who always snaps at some point and becomes a mass murderer!

You try to make the world a better place and what does it get you? I mean, Christ, how the hell does one man stand a chance against four billion assholes?

It was one of those rare moments where life delivers on the promises offered by Hollywood... I just stood there and watched her disappear like the pathetic, 'romantic' coward I was (and still am, I guess)... In a way, it was a perfect moment -- everything I had been waiting for... People like me probably don't want anything to actually happen to them anyway...

Why aren't you girls out stealing hubcaps or shoplifting like normal children?

Please allow me the honour of allowing you to bestow upon me a blowjob.

I will be the biggest, richest, most popular writer in history. You just watch, dead reader. I'll be the biggest whore ever!

Maybe what I really wanted, I began to think, was a stronger sense of fellowship... I thought about my friends and about how I didn't have any...

before I was going to college, my secret plan was to one day not tell anybody and just get on some bus to some random city and just move there and become this totally different person. - Then what? - ...and not come back until I had totally become this person... I used to think about it all the time... - I don't get it... - That's because you don't uterlly loathe yourself

You were right, everybody hates my new car. Becky said it was a goth dorkmobile.

Bring me your Nortons, your Kramdens, your housewives, and sewermen. Weight my limbs with the nests of your flotsam, that we may chirp in chorus this melancholy anthem. Mourn with your busdriver piety this sapless husk; dull with your tender hymn the string of the lumberman's axe.

But they always just laugh off everything I say, when really I want absolutely nothing more than to destroy the world they live in and to watch them suffer, alone and miserable, trying to live in my world for a change!

For a moment, all movement ceases and the scene is one of crystalline stillness, silent except for a slow, melodramatic heartbeat.

When I was, like thirteen I thought it would be really cool to be a prostitute... I Thought It was like handsome guys would take you out on these romantic dates and you´d fuck them and then they´d pay you...

C'mon, let's go in my room and abuse drugs and stuff!

You can never really trust someone who remembers every embarrassing detail of your adolescence.

I'd gladly read something that is exceptionally stupid or bad as long as it was done by someone with some sort of personal vision, even if that person was a complete moron.

When you see somebody who's got a complaining personality, it usually means that they had some vision of what things could be, and they're constantly disappointed by that. I think that would be the camp that I would fall into - constantly horrified by the things people do.