Quotes from Ned Vizzini

I knew too, but I didn't like to think about that. Maybe it was stupid and solipsistic, but I liked to think about me. I didn't want to be part of some trend. I wasn't doing this for a fashion statement.

I ask the nurse wrapping up her dispensing duties if I need any meds, and she says I'm not scheduled for any. I ask her if I can have some. She asks what I need them for. I tell her, to deal with this crazy place. She says if they had pills for that, they wouldn't need places like this in the first place, would they?

Ski. Sled. Play basketball. Jog. Run. Run. Run. Run home. Run home and enjoy.

You deserve them because you chose them.

Neil says, and he shakes my hand in that way that people do in here to remind themselves that you're the patient and they're the doctor/ volunteer/employee. They like you, and they genuinely want you to do better, but when they shake your hand you feel that distance, that slight disconnect because they know that you're still broken somewhere, that you might snap at any moment.

Above the shirt is her face

You're not expressing a lot of emotion about these things." "Oh. Well. They're too big.

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." "And what is that nightmare, Craig?" "Life." "Life is a nightmare.

Well, you know, we're born into the world seeing that we're just a little bit… We tend to have things a little bit easier than girls. And we tend to assume therefore that the world was built for us, and that we're, you know, the culmination of everything that came before us. And then we get told that having a little bit of this attitude is called balls, and that balls are good, and we kind of take it from there.

Life's not about feeling better; it's about getting the job done.

I'm going to go home and freak out. I'm going to sit with my family and try not to talk about myself and what's wrong. I'm going to try and eat. Then I'm going to try and sleep. I dread it. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?

I'm done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.

The enemy is too strong. I can't fight them. They're too smart. You're smart too, soldier. Not smart enough. So you're just going to give up? That's the plan.

I've had good moments scattered since then, times when I thought I was better, but that was the last day I felt triumphant.

The Cycling.'" "Going over the same thoughts over and over. When my thoughts race against each other in a circle.

The opposite of the Tentacles are the Anchors. The Anchors are things that occupy my mind and make me feel good temporarily.

There are a lot of Tentacles," I admit. "But I should be able to handle them. The problem is that I'm so lazy.

I'm not afraid of dying; I'm afraid of living.

I'm going to do it tonight. This is such a farce, this whole thing. I thought I was better and I'm not better. I tried to get stable and I can't get stable. I tried to turn the corner and there aren't any corners; I can't eat; I can't sleep; I'm just wasting resources.

What happened when you woke up?" "I was having a dream. I don't know what it was, but when I woke up, I had this awful realization that I was awake. It hit me like a brick in the groin.

You like simple." "Doesn't everybody?" "Some people thrive on complexity, Craig.

And she bangs her knee against my thigh. Awesome. A girl hasn't done that to me since like fourth grade.

I thought . . . you haven't really lived until you've contemplated suicide. I thought like it would be good to have a reset switch, like on the video games, to start again and see if you could go a different way.

I decided that you didn't really need money, power, success, religion, a spouse, or kids to be happy. All you really needed was to feel superior.