Quotes from Judy Sheindlin

I don't have two different personalities. I am what I am.

If you take control over those things you can, you are better able to negotiate the unexpected.

The reason that you have statutes of limitations is because evidence goes stale sometimes.

Number one - and I want you to emblaze this on your brain - you only have one chance to make a first impression.

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.

If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.

I want first-time offenders to think of their appearance in my courtroom as the second-worst experience of their lives - circumcision being the first.

A judge is supposed to be able to make a decision, and when you make a decision, very often one party - and very often both - are a little disappointed.

Not everything has to be a money-making operation. You do things sometimes because it makes you feel good.

When I go on vacation, I leave my house in total order: bills paid, garbage out, no milk in the refrigerator, mail done so that I can better negotiate what will await me.

I deal with conflicts that irritate people and give them stress, like the dispute over a car payment. I can resolve those cases in a moment.

Women watch and say, 'I like watching you control your own space. It's motivated me to do better, to go back to college, to even try law school. My daughter's been watching you since she's 10 - I love the fact that she's watching a strong woman who's in control.' All of those things are good, positive things.

They will find somebody younger, somebody funnier, somebody more engaged. As long as the court genre is viable, people are going to be looking for someone to knock me off of my perch.

I'm an entertainer, and I'm paid as an entertainer.

My first husband is a lovely, lovely man, but he always viewed my job as a hobby, and there came a time where I resented that.

My viewers are smart. They know I have a contract with a TV show and that I make a lot of money.

I've had an absolutely magical run.

I don't read bad mail. I don't save mail. I'm too old to read negative things.

I was a sitting judge in Manhattan. I was a supervising judge in Manhattan, and they said to me, 'Did you ever think of doing what you do on television?'

I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress

"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."

I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.