Quotes from Harry Enfield

Why don't men become primary teachers? Partly, I suppose, because the pay is so insulting; but then it is for all teachers, as the state seems to consider the manufacture of adults less important than the manufacture of just about anything else.

The magistrate who originally sentenced Eric Cantona to prison said that millions of young people saw him as a role model and tried to copy his behaviour. I wonder if this is true.

If people like you, and you disappoint them, they get very hurt by it.

I tried for about a year to write a teenage character until I finally got the phrase 'he has lost the power of rational thought and the use of his arms.' Everything else came from that.

I'm trying to stop reading the Daily Telegraph. I've read it for several years because I prefer to read a pro-Government newspaper that slags the Government off, which the Telegraph frequently does, than an anti-government one or a trying-oh-so-hard-to-be-neutral one.

Why is everyone so obsessed with attracting the young? The Telegraph, Radio 4 - everyone wants a younger audience when everyone knows the population is getting older and older, and that older people have more dosh than young people.

I've had my own comedy series on telly and I know the truth about politics.

I was happy just being at home looking after the kids. There was always plenty to do, and I didn't feel like doing any telly.

I was once asked to be a guest presenter on 'The Big Breakfast' for a week while Chris Evans was away, but I said no as I knew I'd be hopeless. If they asked me to guest present the 'Today' programme on Radio 4, however, I'd jump at the chance.

In the 1970s the government propped up managers who couldn't run their industries properly. Nowadays they prop up our lousy managers who can't run our services properly.

There's nothing nicer than a wicked bad person in a story is there? It's fun.

The most confident people in Britain are those who went to top public schools and Trotskyists.

My grandmother had a couple of strange books published by the Woolfs. I didn't know her - she was dead by the time I was born. But I knew my grandfather. He was lovely.

I hated everything but punk for a long time.

I've been deeply involved in writing garbage since I was 16.

When I was on 'Top Gear' they thought it was funny I used to have a Vauxhall Cavalier convertible.

You need a lot of words to say anything in German.

With three of my own children, I have witnessed first-hand the vital role reading has played as part of their childhood and I am passionate that all children learn the skills they need to experience the joy of a good book.

As I get older and skinnier people recognise me much less.

I've got three very expensive kids and I had to buy a house in Notting Hill.

I've had dinner with two Beatles and a Rolling Stone;I've said 'hello' to Whitney Houston and shared a cab with Larry Adler.

I like Hugh Grant.

When I saw 'The Office' I thought, 'That's it for our type of humour. This has changed comedy for ever.' I loved it.

When looking for an Oscar-winning performance Americans demand not mental instability but mental disability, ie Tom Hanks playing a simpleton or Dustin Hoffman as an autistic man. The Yanks are suckers for such patronising tosh.