Quotes from David Baddiel

Comedy is a difficult thing for a critic, as, unlike all other art-forms, it has an inbuilt success-o-meter: laughter. Therefore, there's no real need for critics.

My parents are very unusual characters, both of them - they're both only children, and they're great, but neither of them are the sort of standard idea of a parent, and not of Jewish parents.

It was definitely a challenging upbringing. My parents were by no means perfect.

When I first started, stand-up comedians writing novels was thought of as a great encroachment on the art form and people got very angsty. But comedians are storytellers so it's really a hop, skip and a jump.

Everything I do is storytelling; storytelling is about curiosity.

My father worked for Unilever, running a mass-spectrometry lab - mass spectrometry is a process for elucidating the chemical structures of molecules, which means that he presided over a legal form of corporate espionage, breaking down the component parts of competitors' products in order to copy them.

When I was growing up I don't think Muslims and Jews were considered to be opposites.

Vegas felt glamorous on the outside but disappointing on the inside.

I spend a lot of time on social media and people ask me if the abuse I get is upsetting, but working in comedy has built up my skin - I'm used to hecklers.

I've adapted my own work a couple of times, and I've also given my novels to other people to adapt, and I do find that quite difficult.

People think making jokes about something is just going to cause trouble. But actually, not making jokes about something is a type - and this sounds very pretentious - of apartheid.

We're not designed to know hundreds of people - we're designed to know four people in our village. So the only way we can know hundreds of people is by reducing them to a stamp of their identity.

Virtually any practical task becomes chaos within seconds of me getting near it.

I don't believe in God but I do believe in Larry David.

Football fandom is this, it's magical thinking, it's hope over experience.

I see social media mainly just talked about as if it has just changed us technologically and in terms of data. I think it has changed absolutely everything. It has changed truth, it has changed culture. It has certainly changed the way that we relate to each other and in a very short amount of time.

Three Lions' is a song about loss: about the fact that England mainly lose.