Quotes from Eric Idle

Life has a very simple plot, First you're here And then you're not.

Laughter is the only sane response to pathological lying.

I have British teeth. They are like British politics: they go in all directions at once.

If one of the best ways to appreciate life is to have an unhappy childhood, I was very fortunate.

Not that I want to go, of course. I'll be like the rest of you, clinging on desperately and screaming for more morphine.

always leave a party when people begin to play the bongos.

Fuck you very much, the FCC. Fuck you very much for fining me. Five thousand bucks a fuck, So I'm really out of luck. That's more than Heidi Fleiss was charging me.

I bring messages and thanks from the others. Terry Gilliam sadly can't be with us tonight as they won't let him show his ass, which has been very favorably compared with Spielberg's ass. Graham Chapman can't be with us tonight, as sadly he is still dead. And John Cleese is finishing a movie. He has to get it back to Blockbuster by tomorrow.

If this isn't exactly what went down, it's certainly how it should have happened.

On our way, we got lost and passersby denied all knowledge of the location of the camp. We finally arrived as it was getting dark, and they said it was closing. "Tell them we're Jewish," said Graham.

Once you're in the circus you're all in the circus, and of course it turns out that they are real people too.

foolishly optimistic

Ours was an extraordinary generation, born into a devastated world, exhausted from six years of total war. Sixty million died. Nowadays the young think times are tough if they can't get an Internet connection. They're right; times are tough, but there was a time before it all began to go to shit, when it all really was shit. Our generation was born into that time. It was called World War II.

One day the sun will die, one day the galaxy will die, one day the entire Universe will die. I'm not feeling too good myself. So, what have I learned over my long and weird life? Well, firstly, that there are two kinds of people, and I don't much care for either of them. Secondly, when faced with a difficult choice, either way is often best. Thirdly, always leave a party when people begin to play the bongos.

Sweden advertised it as the movie so funny that Norwegians weren't allowed to see it.

Men come in three sizes: small, medium, and extremely fucked up.

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week.

I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens.

I was thrilled to win a Tony in 2005 for 'Spamalot'.

Writers tend to suffer from back problems because they spend their time bent over a desk.

I won't read scripts because I have a limited amount of time. Why should I help other people do lame stuff when I can just go out and put on lame stuff of my own?

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

I think the special thing about Python is that it's a writers' commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.

John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it.