Quotes from Bob Uecker

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.

How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.

Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase.

I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don't find the eggs, they get booed.

I was acting when I was playing baseball.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.

You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team.

I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once.

Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television... I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.

I had a .200 lifetime batting average in the major leagues, which tied me with another sports great averaging 200 or better for a ten-year period: Don Carter, one of our top bowlers.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade.

Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball?

Phil Niekro and his brother were pitching against each other in Atlanta. Their parents were sitting right behind home plate. I saw their folks more that day than they did the whole weekend.