Quotes from Paul Lynde

I think basically an actor is a salesman.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.

Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.

My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.

I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.

My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter.

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt.

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that.

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.

Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe by adding spices, things of my own. I also look for time-saving recipes, dishes that can be prepared ahead and stored.

The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you.

I laughed all the way through Love Story.

Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.

My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing.

A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.