Quotes from Laura Kightlinger

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

I'm all over the place, and I consider myself a bit of a scrounger: 'What will I do next, so I'm not broke?'

We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves.

I guess I just feel bad that I'm still going on bad dates when I should really be in a bad marriage by now.

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

I always feel like rejection is my petrol. That's what keeps me going.

I love eating in it, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste in it. I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.

I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.

I'm still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

When you get back together with an old boyfriend, it's pathetic. It's like having a garage sale and buying your own stuff back.

I've thought about having a family. I just haven't seen any that really appeal to me.

I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

The thing that amazes me about getting fired is that nobody ever has anything insightful to say about it. They always say the same thing. They always say, 'Everything happens for a reason.' As lame as that sounds, I guess it's better to hear it out loud. Because when you hear it in your own head, it sounds like, 'Anything can happen with a razor.

I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.

I have to find work wherever it might be hiding.

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.