Quotes from Mark Twain

Travel is fatal to prejudice bigotry and narrow-mindedness.

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful careless voyage.

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.

Put no trust in the benefits to accrue from early rising, as set forth by the infatuated Franklin.

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

The truth hurts, but silence kills.

A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.

Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.

I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union.

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.