Quotes from Mark Twain

A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

When everyone is looking for gold, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business.

Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.

My axiom is, to succeed in business: avoid my example.

During the gold rush its a good time to be in the pick and shovel business

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

It's better to stay silent and look a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.

For business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.

Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your dreams. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke to excess; second, don't drink to excess; third, don't marry to excess.

He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.

It is better to give than receive- especially advice.

20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didnt do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover

One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare

Better a broken promise than none at all.