Quotes from Mark Twain

In prayer we call ourselves 'worms of the dust' but it is only on a sort of tacit understanding that the remark shall not be taken at par.

In certain trying circumstances urgent circumstances desperate circumstances profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.

Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie-I found that out.

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him.

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

It is not that I believe that there are too many idiots in this world, just that lightning isn't distributed right.

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

It is higher and nobler to be kind.

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.

Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.