Quotes from Mark Twain

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.

A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.