Quotes from Mark Twain

And now the tiresome chirping of a cricket that no human ingenuity could locate, began. Next the ghastly ticking of a death-watch in the wall at the bed's head made Tom shudder - it meant that somebody's days were numbered.

Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.

Tom Sawyer said I was a numskull.

today i will find strength in my weakness

He worked up his old battles and tricked them out with fresh splendors; also with new terrors, for he added artillery now.

Oh, I dasn't, Mars Tom. Ole missis she'd take an' tar de head off'n me. 'Deed she would.

It's the same here as it is on earth—you've got to earn a thing, square and honest, before you enjoy it.  You can't enjoy first and earn afterwards.  But there's this difference, here: you can choose your own occupation, and all the powers of heaven will be put forth to help you make a success of it, if you do your level best.  The shoe-maker on earth that had the soul of a poet in him won't have to make shoes here.

Ich würde von jedermann, ob hoch oder niedrig, verlangen, dass er mir einfach und geradezu mit dem kommt, was er mir erzählen will, oder aber seine Geschichte zusammenrollt und sich darauf setzt und Ruhe gibt. Übertretungen dieses Gesetzes müssten mit dem Tode bestraft werden.

I don't see any use in finding out things and clogging up my head with them when I mayn't ever have any occasion to use 'em.

A man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over a man who can't them

My complaint simply concerns the decay of the _art_ of lying.

All men speak in bitter disapproval of the Devil, but they do it reverently, not flippantly; but Father Adolf's way was very different; he called him by every name he could lay his tongue to, and it made everyone shudder that heard him; and often he would even speak of him scornfully and scoffingly; then the people crossed themselves and went quickly out of his presence, fearing that something fearful might happen.

MONDAY morning found Tom Sawyer miserable. Monday morning always found him so—because it began another week's slow suffering in school. He generally began that day with wishing he had had no intervening holiday, it made the going into captivity and fetters again so much more odious.

she turned just in time to seize a small boy by the slack of his roundabout and arrest his flight.

I am persuaded that a coldly-thought-out and independent verdict upon a fashion in clothes, or manners, or literature, or politics, or religion, or any other matter that is projected into the field of our notice and interest, is a most rare thing -- if it has indeed ever existed.

A man must not hold himself aloof from the things which his friends and community have at heart if he would be liked.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

Tom got out a bit of paper and carefully unrolled it. Huckleberry viewed it wistfully. The temptation was very strong. At last he said: Is it genuwyne? Tom lifted his lip and showed the vacancy. Well, all right, said Huckleberry, it's a trade. Tom enclosed the tick in the percussion-cap box that had lately been the pinchbug's prison, and the boys separated, each feeling wealthier than before.

Bekase why: would a wise man ant to live in de mid's er such a blimblammin' all de time? No--'deed he wouldn't. A wise man 'ud take en buil' a biler-factry; en den he could shet down de biler-factory when he want to res'.

Klonite se ljudi koji ?e pokušati omalovažiti vaše ambicije. Mali ljudi ?ine takve stvari, dok veliki ljudi mogu u?uniti da se osetite da i vi možate postati veliki

If we never lied , there would be nothing to remember.

He said if I warn't so ignorant, but had read a book called Don Quixote, I would know without asking. He said it was all done by

Artemus Ward used that trick a good deal; then when the belated audience presently caught the joke he would look up with innocent surprise, as if wondering what they had found to laugh at. Dan Setchell used it before

Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.