Quotes from Mark Twain

have been editorially supplied for works that Clemens left untitled. AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MARK

Keep your feelings where you can reach them with the dictionary.

There was still room enough left for a visitor - maybe two, but not without straining the walls. But the walls could stand it- at least the partitions could, for they consisted simply of one thickness of white cotton domestic stretched from corner to corner of the room. This was the rule in Carson - any other kind of partition the rare exception. And if you stood in a dark room and your neighbors in the next had lights, the shadows on your canvas told queer secrets sometimes.

So I learned then, once and for all, that gold in its native state is but dull, unornamental stuff, and that only low-born metals excite the admiration of the ignorant with an ostentatious glitter.

or else it wouldn't be truthful and square for the others.

The Character of Man Concerning Man—he is too large a subject to be treated as a whole; so I will merely discuss a detail or two of him at this time. I desire to contemplate him from this point of view—this premiss: that he was not made for any useful purpose, for the reason that he hasn't served any; that he was most likely not even made intentionally; and that his working himself up out of the oyster bed to his present position was probably

Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine

The full moon was riding high in the cloudless heavens, now. We sauntered carelessly and unthinkingly to the edge of the lofty battlements of the citadel, and looked down — a vision! And such a vision! Athens by moonlight! The prophet that thought the splendors of the New Jerusalem were revealed to him, surely saw this instead!

but good-hearted and companionable, obedient to their parents and the priest; and as they grew up they became properly stocked with narrowness and prejudices got at second hand from their elders, and adopted without reserve; and without examination also—which goes without saying. Their religion was inherited, their politics the same. John Huss and his sort might find fault with

By what right has the dog come to be regarded as a noble animal? The more brutal and cruel and unjust you are to him the more your fawning and adoring slave he becomes; whereas, if you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward--you will never get her full confidence again.

Swimming's no good. I don't seem to care for it, somehow, when there ain't anybody to say I shan't go in.

Island under French control—which means a community which depends upon quarantines, not sanitation, for its health.

Presently the yellow-jacked handed the half dime back to me and told me I ought to keep my money in my pocket-book instead of in my soul, and then I wouldn't get it cramped and shriveled up so!

A Church committee.

Qu'est-ce qu'un Juif lépreux qui, né d'une catin et d'un soldat, dans le plus chétif coin de l'univers, ose se faire passer pour l'organe de celui qui, dit-on, a créé le monde

Of course the whole drove was housed in the house, and great guns--well, I never saw anything like it! Nor anything like it. And never smelt anything like it. It was like an insurrection in a gasometer.

I'm in favor of progress; it's change I don't like.

In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.

We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.

Rocky Mountain etiquette required of a spectator was, that he should help the gentleman bury his game—otherwise his churlishness would surely be remembered against him the first time he killed a man himself and needed a neighborly turn in interring him.

EÄŸer kazan?rsam benim imkânlar?m dâhilindeki istediÄŸiniz herhangi bir görevi elde edebileceksiniz... herhangi bir görev derken, yani, aÅŸina olduÄŸunuzu ve liyakatle doldurabileceÄŸinizi kan?tlayabileceÄŸiniz bir mevki demek istiyorum.

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

Well, then, says I, what's the use you learning to do right, when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?