Quotes from Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Hat head is a sad affliction wherein the chosen hat and the selected hairstyle are grossly incompatible. The unfortunate combination results in a condition that can be hidden only with the application of another hat.

A plain sock by itself is terribly boring, but it could score points by having a clever stitch pattern, or maybe by being made out of a very beautiful yarn that's an enchantment to work with. (Sadly, it is still infuriatingly true that being beautiful without being clever is almost worth more points than being clever without being beautiful, but such are the rules of life and knitting-they are cruel, but there anyway).

Sweaters need to be imagined, dreamed over.

ribbing, moss, seed, and garter are all balanced and combine the yin and yang of knitting

Should my husband ever finish my "sock," I will wear it proudly (and singularly) for all of my days. He is my mate; my sock doesn't need one.

Really, there are only two kinds of people who are going to understand about hand-knit socks: those who wear them and know the singular joy of perfect socks, and the knitters who have the pleasure of giving that exquisite experience. Everybody else thinks you must be a special kind of crazy to spend so much time making something that you could buy for $1.99 at the store.

Maybe, just maybe, those six balls are a scarf and hat that get tucked away for years and long after I'm gone someone pulls them out and says, "Remember how Grammy was with all the wool? Remember how she knit all the time?" fingering the soft wool and pondering who I was and what I did while I was here.

I am so uncoordinated that it's as if the day they were handing out physical prowess I was distracted at the fine motor skills wicket, probably by a knitting pattern, and missed out completely on whatever it is that lets people do standing-up things with their bodies.

We're the only species that invents all of this stuff to make our lives easier-like a car so that we don't need to walk-then invents something else to take the place of it, like running on a treadmill.

It turns out that I will buy any yarn, even yarn I will never use, if the store discounts it by more than 50%. Do not be tricked, not all yarn is meant to be yours. No matter how good a deal it is.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. — RITA MAE BROWN

I have not yet formulated a plan to force people to knit that is likely to be successful, but the one where I locked resistant people in a freezer filled with yarn and needles has promise, if I can work out the ethical issues.

I'm reasonably sure that Calvin Klein does not knit.

Even if he doesn't know a cable from a bobble, my mate can be my biggest cheerleader.

Did you know that there are $4,000 washing machines? Seriously. If a washer is $4,000 I want it to get the laundry out of my room and bring it back folded after it made me coffee told me it likes my hair.

People knit for their own reasons, but some of the most intense knitters I know are the ones who used it to help them quit smoking. It's a perfect plan, really; knitting keeps your hands busy, and it is relaxing and repetitive enough to hold off most of the urges to smoke. You get to spend your cigarette money on yarn, a powerful motivator, and two weeks after you quit you have four sweaters, three hats, and several really big afghans. Knitting can be a useful tool for self-improvement.

Really, Joe? Really? You freaking think so?

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. — RAY BRADBURY

An Open Letter to the Media re Unrealistic Portrayal of Life Screw you.

The brave and dear man currently has the exact same sweater on needles (in another yarn, thank heavens) and is attempting to finish it in a month in case the whole repair process on the first one doesn't work out. He's completely deluded, of course, but it seems to be giving him hope. Imagine trying again. It's a wonder he's sober, never mind knitting.

When it is all over, when the socks are done, a knitter will have invested an average of twenty thousand stitches in the name of love and warm feet, knowing full well that the socks will wear out.

There is a certain segment of knitters who refuse to accept that there may be such a thing as a wool allergy. They accept that you can be allergic to bees, peanut butter, daisies, or penicillin, but not their precious wool. They maintain that the allergic have simply not yet met the "right" wool.

Consider telling those you teach that no matter how it feels to the new knitter, a dropped stitch has never actually caused stroke, heart failure, or a world war.

It turns out that knitting has taught me that good things come in all sizes, and the size doesn't matter, as long as you're happy with what you've got.