Quotes from Laurence Sterne

But this is neither here nor there why do I mention it? Ask my pen, it governs me, I govern not it.

There have been no sects in the Christian world, however absurd, which have not endeavoured to support their opinions by arguments drawn from Scripture.

When a man is discontented with himself, it has one advantage - that it puts him into an excellent frame of mind for making a bargain.

Death opens the gate of fame, and shuts the gate of envy after it; it unlooses the chain of the captive, and puts the bondsman's task into another man's hand.

If a man has a right to be proud of anything, it is of a good action done as it ought to be, without any base interest lurking at the bottom of it.

There is such a torture, happily unknown to ancient tyranny, as talking a man to death. Marcus Aurelius advises to assent readily to great talkers--in hopes, I suppose, to put an end to the argument.

I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me.

Only the brave know how to forgive... a coward never forgave; it is not in his nature.

Simplicity is the great friend to nature, and if I would be proud of anything in this silly world, it should be of this honest alliance.

There is one sweet lenitive at least for evils, which nature holds out; so I took it kindly at her hands, and fell asleep.

What persons are by starts they are by nature.

There is not a greater paradox in nature,--than that so good a religion [as Christianity] should be no better recommended by its professors.

Only the brave know how to forgive it is the most refined and generous pitch of virtue human nature can arrive at.

Patience cannot remove, but it can always dignify and alleviate, misfortune.

So long as a man rides his hobbyhorse peaceably and quietly along the King's highway, and neither compels you or me to get up behind him - pray, Sir, what have either you or I to do with it?

Philosophy has a fine saying for everything - for Death it has an entire set.

I am positive I have a soul; nor can all the books with which materialists have pestered the world ever convince me to the contrary.

For I begin with writing the first sentence, — and trusting to Almighty God for the second.

We may imitate the Deity in all His attributes; but mercy is the only one in which we can pretend to equal Him. We cannot, indeed, give like God; but surely we may forgive like Him.

The great end of all religionis to purify our hearts--and conquer our passions--and in a word, to make us wiser and better men--better neighbours--better citizens--and better servants of GOD.

A man who values a good night's rest will not lie down with enmity in his heart, if he can help it.

When a man gives himself up to the government of a ruling passion,--or, in other words, when his HOBBY-HORSE grows head- strong,--farewell cool reason and fair discretion.

People who overly take care of their health are like misers. They hoard up a treasure which they never enjoy.

The history of a soldier's wound beguiles the pain of it.