Quotes from Colin Quinn

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

I always wanted to write as much as perform.

If I had to give up everything else and keep just one aspect of the job, I'd have to keep writing because I love it. Yes, I enjoy performing, too. But I couldn't give up writing material.

I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial.

A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what's being said is the party line.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.

That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

Everybody's funny in different ways.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.