Quotes from Janeane Garofalo

I've seen other comics, with great pleasure, watching their own specials, and I don't know how or why they do it.

Let's put it this way: I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours. I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why, exactly.

I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delightful, but I learned that if you want Robert De Niro to like you, don't speak at all, and he'll be friendly to you.

I was terrified of being on television - and also I overcompensated, I'm sure, because I know I did this in my personal life too at the time, when I was younger.

Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.

I would say just in general, in life, I'm more willing to be animated as a person, and so obviously onstage as well.

The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.

If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.

I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.

Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.

Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

I remember the old Times Square from when I was younger, and there was a seedy thrill to it. Some of that is gone, which I have a little bit of nostalgia for.

Irrational crushes, infatuations, or obsessions. Whatever you want to label it, it's important to reach out to others.

I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.

I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.

I don't enjoy sparring with the audience. It devastates me.

German accents and Hassidic accents aren't that romantic. They're more harsh. Although Hebrew, when spoken by certain people, sounds beautiful. There's this beautiful woman I know who speaks Hebrew, and when she speaks, it's so attractive. Maybe it's who's speaking it.

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.

I'm not a cook. I like to watch the Food Network, but I don't like to cook.

Until as women we all say, No! We are not going to starve ourselves, nothing is going to change. We're our own worse enemies sometimes but I still blame men.