Quotes from Bob Saget

We had natural childbirth. We had our baby on a bed of lettuce at the Sizzler.

Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! "Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--" and, cut! "Cock shit fuck!"

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

Bill Cosby said it pretty eloquently: "Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

The goal of living a full life is so, at its end, you'll have learned some things along the journey.

But I actually did change Mary-Kate's and Ashley's diapers once. And that was four years ago. Ashley came up with the punch line to that joke. No,

I'll always have genuine affection for my dear friends Candace Cameron Bure, Jodie Sweetin, Ashley Olsen, and Mary-Kate Olsen for being such important, genuine friends in my life. And the incredibly sweet Andrea Barber, who played Kimmy Gibbler,

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

Most people argue over who's right, not about what the truth is.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

I've just never been a person that was political or religiously savvy. Except for the fact that I was born Jewish. That gives me 10 circumcision jokes.

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.

There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him.

I had enough therapy to know when I broke it down, it became clearer to me: Yes, comedy was kind of a cleansing thing for me to do.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they're both in my car and I want you to see them

I've had a pilot every single year that didn't sell for the past four years, that'll smack you in the back of the head. I had a really good one last year; I wouldn't have done the play in New York if I had gotten that one.

I am a fortunate man in that all three of my daughters are exceptional. Very high beings, very smart people, very wonderful and very brilliant, very beautiful. They're all artists.

I was so depressed for so many years over trying to become a working comedian that my sense of self-worth would plummet.

It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people.

I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.

The secret to raising children is to love them... And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.

Aristotle said, Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Isn't that a three-way?

I love my mom! You can too for $12!