Quotes from Brene Brown

Vulnerability is like being naked onstage and hoping for applause rather than laughter.

Joy and gratitude can be very vulnerable and intense experiences. We are an anxious people and many of us have very little tolerance for vulnerability. Our anxiety and fear can manifest as scarcity. We think to ourselves: I'm not going to allow myself to feel this joy because I know it won't last. Acknowledging how grateful I am is an invitation for disaster. I'd rather not be joyful than have to wait for the other shoe to drop.

To know shame is to be human. And to have the capacity for empathy is also to be human.

As crazy as it sounds, many of us will choose to stay in the resentment, disappointment, and frustration that come with believing people aren't trying rather than face a difficult conversation about real deficits.

Disappointment is unmet expectations, and the more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment.

Gratitude, therefore, emerged from the data as the antidote to foreboding joy. In fact, every participant who spoke about the ability to stay open to joy also talked about the importance of practicing gratitude. This pattern of association was so thoroughly prevalent in the data that I made a commitment as a researcher not to talk about joy without talking about gratitude.

trust as "choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person's actions,

I don't believe faith and reason are natural enemies. I believe our human desire for certainty and our often-desperate need to "be right" have led to this false dichotomy. I don't trust a theologian who dismisses the beauty of science or a scientist who doesn't believe in the power of mystery.

Courage is contagious. To scale daring leadership and build courage in teams and organizations, we have to cultivate a culture in which brave work, tough conversations, and whole hearts are the expectation, and armor is not necessary or rewarded.

We judge in areas where we're most susceptible to shame, and we judge people who are doing worse than we are in those areas.

connection and inclusion versus busyness and exhaustion.

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable. —Madeleine L

In a US study on conformity to feminine norms, researchers recently listed the most important attributes associated with "being feminine" as being nice, pursuing a thin body ideal, showing modesty by not calling attention to one's talents or abilities, being domestic, caring for children, investing in a romantic relationship, keeping sexual intimacy contained within one committed relationship, and using our resources to invest in our appearance.

Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind. Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about people rather than to them is unkind.

I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose. Sometimes the simple act of humanizing problems sheds an important light on them, a light that often goes out the minute a stigmatizing label is applied.

We seem to measure the value of people's contributions (and sometimes their entire lives) by their level of public recognition. In other words, worth is measured by fame and fortune. Our culture is quick to dismiss quiet, ordinary, hardworking men and women. In many instances, we equate ordinary with boring or, even more dangerous, ordinary has become synonymous with meaningless.

At the heart of loneliness is the absence of meaningful social interaction—an intimate relationship, friendships, family gatherings, or even community or work group connections.

We have to listen to understand in the same way we want to be understood.

Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Prove. Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will people think? Perfectionism is a hustle.

doing nothing was the only way back for someone totally overwhelmed.

Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional.

Living, growing up, working, or worshipping on eggshells creates huge cracks in our sense of safety and self-worth. Over time, these cracks can be experienced as trauma, whether this happens at work or at home.

Get Going: From taking turns being thankful during grace to more creative projects like creating a jar to keep gratitude notes in, we're making Wholeheartedness a family affair.