Quotes from Brene Brown

If you want to kick-start your shame resilience and story-claiming, start with these questions. Figuring out the answers can change your life: Who do you become when you're backed into that shame corner? How do you protect yourself? Who do you call to work through the mean-nasties or the cry-n-hides or the people-pleasing? What's the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?

When we reject the truth of someone's story—the ultimate failure of story stewardship—it's often because we've stealthily centered ourselves in their story, and the narrative takeover is about protecting our ego, behavior, or privilege

I'm with you. In the arena. And when we fail, we'll fail together, while daring greatly.

Hope is a function of struggle—we develop hope not during the easy or comfortable times, but through adversity and discomfort. Hope is forged when our goals, pathways, and agency are tested and when change is actually possible.

When we're looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted, able to bend, and, most of all, we need someone who embraces us for our strengths and struggles. We need to honor our struggle by sharing it with someone who has earned the right to hear it. When we're looking for compassion, it's about connecting with the right person at the right time about the right issue.

We need braver readers and more courageous cultures.

Numbing or taking the edge off doesn't have the same consequences as addiction, but they are nonetheless severe and life-altering for one reason: We cannot selectively numb emotion. If we numb the dark, we numb the light. If we take the edge off pain and discomfort, we are, by default, taking the edge off joy, love, belonging, and the other emotions that give meaning to our lives.

Curiosity is a shit-starter. But that's okay. Sometimes we have to rumble with a story to find the truth.

Disappointment is unmet expectations. The more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment.

When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies. When failure is not an option we can forget about learning, creativity, and innovation.

Yes, we are all conspiracy theorists with our own stories, constantly filling in data gaps with our fears and insecurities.

When we are relieved or happy to see someone held accountable for wrongdoing, we're not automatically celebrating their suffering, but more often we're grateful for the healing that accountability brings to those who have been affected by the wrongdoing.

After fifteen years of this work, I can confidently say that stories of pain and courage almost always include two things: praying and cussing. Sometimes at the same time.

When someone else is suffering and we feel joy, there is decreased activity in the area of the brain that processes empathy and increased activity in the reward centers.

We invite compassion onto our lives when we act compassionately toward ourselves and others, and we feel connected in our lives when we reach out and connect.

Sacrificing who we are for the sake of what other people think just isn't worth it.

What we know matters, but who we are matters more. Being rather than knowing requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen. It requires us to dare greatly, to be vulnerable.

Don't grab hurtful comments and pull them close to you by rereading them and ruminating on them. Don't play with them by rehearsing your badass comeback. And whatever you do, don't pull hatefulness close to your heart.

We maintain our prized stoicism in front of the people we want to impress or influence, but the second we're around people over whom we have emotional, financial, or physical power, we explode.

What Makes Up Resilience? If you look at the current research, here are five of the most common factors of resilient people: They are resourceful and have good problem-solving skills. They are more likely to seek help. They hold the belief that they can do something that will help them to manage their feelings and to cope. They have social support available to them. They are connected with others, such as family or friends.

Self awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead.

When she says "life or death," she's not kidding. It turns out that everything she's learned complements what we read about loneliness: Social interaction makes us live longer, healthier lives. By a lot. Pinker writes, "In fact, neglecting to keep in close contact with people who are important to you is at least as dangerous to your health as a pack-a-day cigarette habit, hypertension, or obesity." The good news is that this contact

She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.

we simply prefer approval over disapproval).