Quotes from Meg Cabot

I hope you're not planning on kicking me," he said, not even bothering to look up from his book, "as hard as you did those doors." "I will," I said, "if the next words out of your mouth are Pierce, you just need to relax.

I'll remind her of how fat her arms looked in that slutty dress she wore at senior prom. That always makes her cry. Like goddamned Niagara falls.

What's wrong? Nothing, I said. Because nothing was wrong. For the first time in my entire life, it seemed, everything was suddenly, fantastically right.

I'll tell you what kind of girl I'm not, I said crankily. I am not the kind of girl who's looking to share her room with a member of the opposite sex. Understand me? So either you move out, or I force you out. It's entirely up to you. I'll give you some time to think about it. But when I get back here, Jesse, I want you gone.

If you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you teach him to fish, he'll eat all the fish you might have caught for yourself.--Advice of Paul Slater, the evil mediator, to Suze

Are you flirting with me?

Okay, I don't know if any of you have ever lost consciousness before, so let me just say here real quickly: Don't do it. Really. If you can avoid situations in which you might lose consciousness, please do so. Whatever you do, do not pass out. Trust me. It is not fun. It is not fun at all. Unless, of course, you're guaranteed to wake up having mouth-to-mouth performed on you by a totally hot California lifeguard. Then I say go for it.

Which type of wedding gown best suits you? If you are lucky enough to be tall and slender, you can pretty much get away with any type or shape of gown. That is why models are tall and slender—anything looks good on them!

You know, Grandma says, you could learn a lot from Dr.Quinn. She knows how to make soap from a sheep's guts. And she had twins when she was fifty. Fifty!

I may be a country girl who's never been offplanet, but even I'm aware that when a Jedi walks up to you and says, Here, have a baby, it's not going to end well.

Detention. That's what you get at the Junipero Serra Mission Academy when you sucker punch your stepbrother on school grounds and a teacher happens to notice.

Rule #10 If you say it enough times in your head, it will come true (sometimes).

Rule #12 We all make mistakes, and we all deserve a second chance.

But mom's been depressed ever since her last boyfriend turned out to be a Republican.

How many times do I have to tell you, Amelia? Men are like little woodland creatures. You have to lure them to you with tiny breadcrumbs and soft words of encouragement. You cannot simply whip out a rock and conk them over the head with it.

Get to see how he treats his mother/sister/housekeeper (critical clues as to how he will treat any prospective girlfriend).

They could be making her sleep in a closet under the stairs!

Meena wasn't sure which she found more disturbing: that she'd been hunting her ex-boyfriend's murderous wife with a hair dryer beneath the streets of Manhattan, or that when she opened her eyes after having been knocked unconscious by this person, she realized she'd been rescued by another one of her ex-boyfriends.

These were things she hadn't felt wile being kissed in a long, long time. Exciting things. Especially when he lowered his head to kiss her again, this time on the throat. That's when she felt that her heart might burst from happiness.

It's a natural progress, but still. That thing about the cow is so stupid. Do I look like a cow to you?

Your boyfriend dive into, like, three feet of water. He didn't come up, either.He is probably drowned or turned into a merman. Honestly, I don't know which would be worse. ..

Father Dominic, however is a way better mediator than I am. Well, maybe not better. But different, certainly. See, he really feels that ghosts are best handled with gentle guidance and earnest advice-same as the living. I'm more in favor of a sort of get-to-the-point approach that tends to involve my fists.

while toasting] To blow jobs we want back

Lars watches Pretty Little Liars.