Quotes from Etgar Keret

The guy on the roof nods--it looks like this time, he heard something--and shouts back at me, "How did you know? How did you know she died?" Someone always dies, I want to yell back at him. Always. If not her, then someone else.

But what really counts isn't what people say to your face. It's what they say behind your back.

Lots of parents are dying to sacrifice everything for their children," ......... Okay, it's true that, in the end, we'll disappear, but so what? In the end, everyone dies, and your father and me, we won't even die, we'll just fade away.

There are clear rules governing the relationship between the homeless and the average person on the street: speak to each other politely; don't look each other in the eye; don't ask for names; and don't give more than twenty dollars.

Etgar means "challenge." And my family name is Keret, which means "urban." So my name is "urban challenge." My joke is, it's a good description of a birth but a strange name for a human being.

Y'know," he said and arched his back till his head reached the cereal shelf. "You know how they say suicides always happen in threes? Well, there's something to it. People around you start dying, and you begin to ask yourself what the hell makes you different, and what's keeping you alive anyway. It hit me like a Scud. I mean, I just didn't have the answers.

I've got another reason for you to come." "Try me." Gelfand shot the empty beer bottle in the garbage can and tried to sound interested. "You got anything better to do?

To live is to suffer, to live is to sweat, to live is an ache you can't fucking forget. To live is to yearn, to live is to burn, to live is to fucking screw up and wait for the fate to turn.

He invented ordinary things, and I stress, ordinary. Not brilliant, just ordinary, and that's exactly what humanity needs. Brilliant inventions might be good for brilliant people, but how many brilliant people are there? On the other hand, ordinary inventions are good for everyone.

the way, when you were still alive, d'you ever go looking for God?" "No," Leehee said, and offered me some gum. "But I didn't really have any reason to.

What is cancer, he thought to himself, if not a terrorist attack from above? What is it that God is doing, if not terrorizing us in protest against...something. Something so lofty and transcendental that it is beyond our grasp?

If there's one thing in the world more annoying than being dependent on someone, it's when that someone constantly reminds you that you are dependent on him.

I mean, there aren't many inventions that actually succeed in meeting some human need. Ninety-nine percent of them are just some ugly combo of pushy marketing and spineless consumers.

Bir düÅŸün. DüÅŸte herkes duvar?n öte yan?na geçiyor çünkü varoluÅŸlar?n? ciddiye alm?yorlar. Ama sen, kafan sürekli kendinle meÅŸgul olduÄŸu için duvar? aÅŸam?yorsun. Bu düÅŸ dosyas? çoktan kapanm??t?r. EÄŸitimsel neredeyse, bana sorarsan.

And suddenly the driver remembered how he'd once promised himself that if he became God in the end, he'd be merciful and kind, and would listen to all His creatures. So when he saw Eddie from way up in his driver's seat, he simply couldn't go through with it, and in spite of all his ideology and his simple arithmetic, he opened the door, and Eddie got on

And when they started moving, he looked in the rear-view mirror and gave Eddie a sad wink, which somehow made the whole thing almost bearable.

It's amazing how people can sound like retards when they're talking to their girlfriend, especially if they really love her a lot. Because when you're just fucking someone you make a point of keeping your cool, but when you're really in love - it can sound pretty repulsive.

Translators are like ninjas. If you notice them, they're no good.

There are two kinds of people, those who like to sleep next to the wall, and those who like to sleep next to the people who push them off the bed.

For three months, a person sits and looks at you, imagining a kiss.

A word is a lot.

If you want to learn how to be happy, you have to know what is sadness first.

According to Gur's theory of boredom, everything that happens in the world today is because of boredom: love, war, inventions, fake fireplaces - ninety-five percent of all that is pure boredom.

He misses the feeling of creating something out of something. That's right — something out of something. Because something out of nothing is when you make something up out of thin air, in which case it has no value. Anybody can do that. But something out of something means it was really there the whole time, inside you, and you discover it as part of something new, that's never happened before.