Quotes from Stephen Leacock

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour.

A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something. Not that he's cruel. He wouldn't hurt a fly. It's not big enough.

It may be that those who do most, dream most.

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself- it is the occurring which is difficult.

The minute a man is convinced he is interesting, he isn't.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? You hadn't realized it. And you notice that the sun has set already, the day gone before you knew it — and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape. That's retirement.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

Most people can tire of a lecture in fifteen minutes, clever people can do it in five, and sensible people don't go to lectures at all.

When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.

It was Einstein who made the real trouble. He announced in 1905 that there was no such thing as absolute rest. After that there never was.

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes a mistake of marrying the whole girl