Quotes from Robert Byrne

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.

A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life.

Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.

Partying is such sweet sorrow.

If the numbers keep mounting, newspapers will eventually have to admit that pool exists and give it some coverage.

Prejudices save time.

Collecting quotations is an insidious, even embarrassing habit, like ragpicking or hoarding rocks or trying on other people's laundry. I got into it originally while trying to break an addiction to candy. I kicked candy and now seem to be stuck with quotations, which are attacking my brain instead of my teeth.

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

I had continued jotting down good lines—once the eyes and ears are awakened to the possibilities they can't be put back to sleep...

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."

It's amazing how much funny stuff there is.... [A] river of rich comedic milk is flowing across the land, and as fast as I skim off the cream more cream appears.... I may be doomed to wade around forever in other people's pith. Not that it's such a bad life.

[W]hen I hear or read a good line I can hardly wait to tell it to somebody else...

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns.)

Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.

Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.

Getting caught is the mother of invention.

Love will find a lay.

Partying is such sweet sorrow.

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

To err is human, to purr is feline.

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.