Quotes from Artie Lange

Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you've done this act a million times, you gotta look like you're almost just thinking of it now, to make it entertainer.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

Unlike a lot of comics, I didn't care about getting on 'Saturday Night Live.' That show had such history and was so established that I didn't see the point.

I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.

The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons.

People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such a special thing. It took him a long time to create this family of fans, and I was lucky to be a part of that for a while.

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

Thank God I have a financial planner who is really conservative.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem.

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that

I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

You know you're on stage being the life of the party and trying to get laughs, and then, in a lot of ways, you don't have anything to give once you give it to the people.

I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, .. I think people have the same reaction. It reminds you of what it was like to be a kid, where everything is carefree and fun.

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world