Quotes from Chuck Klosterman

Without a soundtrack, human interaction is meaningless.

We all believe that we are a certain kind of person, but we never know until we do something that proves otherwise, or until we die.

The strength of your memory dictates the size of your reality

Every time I learn the truth about something, I'm disappointed

If you define your personality as creative, it only means you understand what is perceived to be creative by the world at large, so you're really just following a rote creative template. That's the opposite of creativity. Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time. But ANYWAY...

Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll. I'm ready. My toaster will never be the boss of me. Get ready to make me some Pop-Tarts, bitch.

because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation. It's a way for people to be honest without telling the truth.

Because when push comes to shove, we really don't want to have sex with our friends... unless they're sexy. And sometimes we do want to have sex with our blackhearted, soul-sucking enemies... assuming they're sexy.

When exactly did every housewife in America become a whore?

The villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least.

We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is; living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.

Whenever I can't sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I've been assassinated. I've found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I'm in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past are walking by my corpse and making comments about my demise.

Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

The Sims is an escapist vehicle for people who want to escape to where they already are, which is why I thought this game was made precisely for me.

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different.

Who Am I? Or (Perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?

Internet porn makes everything more reasonable -- once you've realized there is a massive subculture of upwardly mobile people who think it's erotic to see an Asian woman giving a hand job to a javelina, nothing else in the world seems crazy.

The goal of being alive is to figure out what it means to be alive.

I am ready to be alone.

Should she stick with the nice, sensitive guy who treats her well (Ben Stiller), or should she roll the dice with the frustrating boho bozo who treats her like crap (Ethan Hawk)? Winona made the kind of romantic decision most people my age would have made in 1994: She pursued a path that was difficult and depressing, and she did so because it showed the slightest potential for transcendence.

I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, I did it because I'm a dirty dog. This is not a very convincing alibi. He may as well have said, I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.

Styx and The Stones may break my bones but 'More than Words' will never hurt me

The falling flakes were random and without purpose; the snow was drunker than she was.