Quotes from Joseph Heller

Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all

How much older can you be at your age?

Neki vannak problémái? Mit szóljak én? – Daneeka Doki lassú, gyászos szipogással folytatta. – Á, én nem panaszkodom. Tudom, hogy háború van. Tudom, hogy egy csomó embernek szenvedni kell majd értünk, hogy megnyerjék nekünk a háborút. De miért kell nekem ezek között lennem?

Death was irreversible, he suspected, and he began to think he was going to lose

The problem with the loneliness I suffer is that the company of others has never been a cure for it. Being at war, however, always has been.

Miért éppen én? – ez volt állandó panasza, és a kérdés helyes volt.

Lehet, hogy egy hosszú életet tényleg sok kellemetlen körülménnyel kell megtölteni, ha azt akarjuk, hogy hosszúnak látsszon. De ha így van, kinek kell? – Nekem – mondta neki Dunbar. – Miért? – kérdezte Clevinger. – Tudsz jobbat?

He wondered often how he would ever recognize the first chill, flush, twinge, ache, belch, sneeze, stain, lethargy, vocal slip, loss of balance or lapse of memory that would signal the inevitable beginning of the inevitable end.

He mashed hundreds of cakes of GI soap into the sweet potatoes just to show that people have the taste of Philistines and don't know the difference between good and bad.

That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!! Yossarian sputtered. ~ Catch-22

Superman?' Clevinger cried. 'Superman?' 'Supraman,' Yossarian corrected.

Nincs mód arra, hogy tényleg mindent tudjunk, ezt is tudta, sÅ't azt is, hogy még azt se tudhatjuk, valóban nincs-e mód arra, hogy tényleg mindent tudjunk.

Dehogynem haldoklik. Mindahányan haldoklunk.

Major Major's father was a sober God-fearing man whose idea of a good joke was to lie about his age. He was a long-limbed farmer, a God-fearing, freedom-loving, law-abiding rugged individualist who held that federal aid to anyone but farmers was creeping socialism. He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down.

Clevinger was already on the way, half out of his chair with emotion, his eyes moist and his lips quivering and pale. As always occurred when he quarreled over principles in which he believed passionately, he would end up gasping furiously for air and blinking back bitter tears of conviction. There were many principles in which Clevinger believed passionately. He was crazy.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive. The

Mindenki nagyon barátságosan viselkedett vele szemben, és senki sem volt hozzá igazán kedves; mindenki szóba állt vele, és mindenki csak semmiségeket mondott neki.

Major Major's father was a sober God-fearing man whose idea of a good joke was to lie about his age. He was a long-limbed farmer, a God-fearing, freedom-loving, law-abiding rugged individualist who held that federal aid to anyone but farmers was creeping socialism. He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down.

It was truly a splendid structure, and Yossarian throbbed with a mighty sense of accomplishment each time he gazed at it and reflected that none of the work that had gone into it was his. There

I'd rather have peanut brittle crumbs on my face than flies in my eyes," Havermeyer retorted.

Would you like to see your country lose?' Major Major asked. 'We won't lose. We've got more men, more money and more material. There are ten million men in uniform who could replace me. Some people are getting killed and a lot more are making money and having fun. Let somebody else get killed.' 'But suppose everybody on our side felt that way.' 'Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way. Wouldn't I?

Look, I might keep interested in this if you stop shouting it all over the island and if you stick to killing Colonel Cathcart. But if you're going to turn it into a bloodbath, you can forget about me.

At the state university he took his studies so seriously that he was suspected by the homosexuals of being a Communist and suspected by the Communists of being a homosexual.

Sure there's a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy." There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind.