Quotes from Mel Brooks

Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play, we're unrehearsed.

Liebkind: Hitler. There was a painter. He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon. Two coats!

Evil will always triumph because good is dumb" - Dark Helmet

Laughter is a protest scream against death, against the long goodbye. It's a defense against unhappiness and depression.

The writing of this book serves as a kind of confession. You, the readers, will be my confidants. I'm going to tell you all my secrets. Things I've never told anybody. Things I don't want anybody to know! I don't want you to breathe a word of what you find out in this book. Keep everything under your hat! Wait a minute, wait a minute…that might not work. I'm not in a confessional booth, and a lot of you are probably not priests. This is a book!

Bialystock: How dare you condemn me without knowing all the facts! Bloom: Mr Bialystock... Bialystock: Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation.You see this? This once held a pearl as big as your eye. Look at me now. Look at me now! I'm wearing a cardboard belt.

All I can say is that in my case comedy was keeping the joy of a happy childhood going strong.

I was at my best when I was backed into a corner. Like a cornered rat I had to somehow jump out of it. I would never surrender. Carl knew he would never get the same answer twice, and I loved to surprise him. Carl: Who is the favorite of all your girlfriends of all time? Mel: Shirley. Carl: What was so special about Shirley? Mel: Her friend Leila. Carl hit the floor.

I always thought a rich lie is better than a poor truth:

Bialystock: Leo - he who hesitates is poor!

Comedy made me friends, big friends to protect me from bullies. I made them laugh, and you don't hit the kid that makes you laugh.

If I cut my finger, that's tragedy. Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die.

remember one day when we were out shooting on location, I said to him, "Slim, you've made a thousand movies. I've only made two. Give me some advice." He said, "Well, Mel, whenever you get a chance—sit down. Directing takes a lot out of you and you're too busy to notice how tired you are.

Larry Clinton and his vocalist, Bea Wain,

That's the wonderful thing about the theater. Unlike in the movies where once a movie is finished and released you can't change it, in the theater a show is a living thing. When you realize something is wrong you can actually fix it and mount a new production.

But let's get back to Melvin Kaminsky.

When Ethel Merman belted out "You're the Top" even though Uncle Joe and I were two miles away in the cheap seats, it was thrilling but maybe a little too loud. What a voice! They said she could hold a note longer than the Chase National Bank.

A lot of people don't realize that without a valley, there is no peak. Without information, there is no joke. You've got to set things up.

Nuit-Saint-Georges, a French pinot noir from a sub-region of Burgundy's Côte de Nuits. All I can tell you is that it was a profound taste revelation! Ever since that night I have loved

When writing for other comedians, someone once told me, "I want to make it my own." I'd say, "Look, the jokes are written. The relationships are written. First, do it as written. Later you can make it your own." A lot of people don't realize that without a valley, there is no peak. Without information, there is no joke. You've got to set things up.

There's only one true test of a comedy, and that's outright laughter. I don't care how beautiful the lighting is, how superlative the script is, how wonderful the performances are. If you're making a comedy and the audience isn't falling down, holding their bellies, screaming with laughter, you've probably got a failure. First laughter and then everything else.

Farts are a repressed minority. The mouth gets to say all kinds of things, but the other place is supposed to keep quiet. But maybe our lower colons have something interesting to say. Maybe we should listen to them. Farts are human, more human than a lot of people I know. I think we should bring them out of the water closet and into the parlor, and that's what I did in Blazing Saddles.

My wit is often characterized as being Jewish comedy. Occasionally, that's true. But for the most part to characterize my humor as purely Jewish humor is not accurate. It's really New York humor. New York humor is not just Jewish humor. It has a certain rhythm. It has a certain intensity and a certain pulse.

In every classic comedy duo, from Laurel and Hardy to Abbott and Costello to Martin and Lewis, in order for the exchange to work, the quality of the straight man had to be as dynamic as that of the funny guy. Carl was the best at this. I