Quotes from Yakov Smirnoff

I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.

I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter.

Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls would never dream of doing - like showering.

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I fed my ego, but not my soul.

I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.

Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.