Quotes from Seth Meyers

'SNL' after-parties are sort of like a time to celebrate your successes and drown your sorrows, depending on how the show went for you.

I'm strictly a sugar-free Red Bull guy. I'd rather enjoy my sugar intake elsewhere.

Politicians don't say no to cameras very often.

I don't get the conga line started. I'm not a great choice if the goal of the evening is just a celebration. But if we're going to talk about what's been going on lately, then I can bring something to the table.

I enjoy talking about politics a great deal.

I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can't say no to them.

It's weird to sit as a comedian. Being still drives me crazy.

The Earth will be around for a long time before you have a funnier president than Obama. He has a stand-up's cadence and the awareness and ability to make jokes about himself before comedians can. That's a page almost every politician should try to take from his book.

I thought Ted Cruz was more fun than Carly Fiorina. And I never thought I would ever say the words, 'Ted Cruz was more fun.'

My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.

I'm a bold man. I throw caution to the wind.

Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.

When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I'll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend.

I think the greatest gift your parents can give you if you want to be a comedian is good taste.

I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag.

It's nice to have an elephant in the room. There's nothing more helpful than something everybody's thinking about.

I'm not a tortured soul.

The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry.

The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch.

People who know me would not say that, at my core, I'm silly.

I would love to interview Sean Spicer.

Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head.

People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.

My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class.