Quotes from Tom Holt

Phaedra] wasn't perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but I would willingly have trade all my prizes in the Festivals, even the prize for the Demes, just to have known her a little better.

Malcolm turned round quite slowly. He had had a bad day, but not so bad that he could face talking badgers - talking dead badgers - with equanimity.

His role (if he had one, which he sometimes doubted) was to provide a comparison with his elder sister Bridget.

If the Good Lord had intended us to crawl, he'd have given us a hundred legs and an exosqueleton.

Malcolm rubbed his eyes. 'And my niceness is going to save the world, is it?

Amazing what two slices of processed bread and a thin layer of stale cheese can do. Unfed, the most he could say for himself was that he'd somehow managed to survive the past. With a cheese sandwich inside him, he was very nearly ready to face the future. Whichever future it turned out to be.

This was partly laziness, partly caution; for if he was to remain nice and keep his mind free of malice or resentment, it would not be advisable for him to see any of his friends or relatives.

Since it didn't happen,' said Alberich, 'it can't be important.

The carbon dioxide.

had my hair cut and scented.

I'm perfectly cheerful, thank you,' said Flosshilde coldly.

He was ... at peace with the world, for it is not in the praise of others that the true artist revels, but in the knowledge that he has satisfied himself.

Mordak has the mental clarity to recognise that when it comes to running a bureaucracy, Elves can achieve a degree of blinkered ruthlessness that makes goblins look like teddy-bears.

Even more truly is it said: when you don't know spit, bullshit.

The worst thing a general can ever say is, Hell, I never expected that.

Realism without naturalism... is a leading motif in Modern Art. There is a move away from the struggle to perfect the reflection of Nature in Art's mirror, which I attribute to the all-pervading effects of photography...You must serve the tradition without being its slave. Remember you are an artist, not a draughtsman.

really primitive auditory hardware

Gelos is the only force in the cosmos who stands between the gods and total universal domination, because only laughter and a sense of the absurd makes it possible for human beings to dismiss the gods as a figment of the imagination; whereas if Gelos ever finds a hero brave and strong enough to protect him from the gods, he will be able to rule the whole

Georgie paused on the threshold for a moment as if hesitant to enter the habitation of such a perjurer lest it should be struck by lightning.

You mean it's to be peace between you and Elizabeth until after the Tapestry? cried Georgie, horrified. The prospect of a cessation of hostilities was appalling, for this warfare provided him with the excitement that no other occupation could hope to offer. Isn't that a bit drastic?

Booze had never been one of his problems; but, given his present circumstances, he could see no reason why he shouldn't go for the complete set.

Not, of course, as much as Julia Roberts or David Beckham or Robbie Williams, but he found he wasn't really bothered about that. He was, after all, basically a simple, modest person at heart. Doing a short but honest day's work, doing it well and earning a revoltingly large amount of money would suit him very nicely.

Most thoughtful,...[he said] politely. This cheerfulness was ambiguous, Had she determined to ignore ...[the] coup entirely--an established tactic, most irritating to the innovator but hard to sustain over long periods of time--or had she already evolved her counter-strategy?

Mr Winckler clapped his hands together. "Evil, as personified by me. Meet the new Dark Lord. But you can call me Albert.