Quotes from Josh Kilmer-Purcell

I figured he was adhering to the adage that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't make fun of the person paying the mortgage.

While Martha's skins fell off her tomatoes like a silk slip off a supermodel, our skins got caught in the deep folds and stuck stubbornly. It was like trying to peel leather pants off of a sweaty, hairy, fat guy.

I'd ask him what the proctological emergency was, and invariably he'd concoct some scenario that would reduce us both to fits of giggling. Plausibility was strained.

I start to wonder what the people all around me do on days like today. I live in a box in the sky with boxes identical to mine on all sides, and forty stories of identical boxes below me. What do all those boxed people do on Saturdays?

The Ear is the local bar down the block from the agency. It's one of the oldest drinking establishments in New York, and it got its current name because the neon curves on the letter "B" in "Bar" burned out years ago, leaving only "Ear" glowing.

So. I'll keep dancing in my costumes. Day and night. And I won't sleep as much as I should. And I will drink more than I should. And maybe, as I'm twirling and glittering, playing a retarded game of hide and seek in the middle of an open field, maybe, just maybe, whatever happens next will be bigger, and I will forget that which seems so huge to me right now.

I try to act normal. Unfortunately I can do multiple different impressions of normal, and I can't figure out the appropriate one for the moment. I'm dangerously close to simply having to "be myself".

He tells me everything he does like any guy would after coming home from work. "Hi honey, bust day at the whore house today. Had to beat up three men and pretend to smoke a little crack".

But I know eventually he will be filed under "H" for "hooker" in my expanding file cabinet of funny stories to be pulled out whenever I need a cheap laugh.

Pour me another, the future is stunning

As far as I'm concerned, the whole point of being with the same person for many years is not so that he or she can finish your sentences, but so that you rarely have to start one to begin with.

Funnily enough, the sheer absurdity of owning a farm felt just as comfortable and wildly unpredictable as my drag gigs in nightclubs. I was excited again for the first time in several years. I had so many new dance steps to learn, so many new costumes to try on.

I'm a drag queen. I'm a celebrity trapped in a normal person's body.

And sometimes the only way out is down.

sometimes the show can't go on

The only possible outcome of double thinking is that you invariably end up negating whatever it was motivating you in the first place. Forcing yourself to think twice about something is just admitting that somehow you are instinctively stupid, and that repetition is the only thing that will save you from yourself.